We’ve all had that awkward moment where we are scrolling through social media and begin comparing ourselves to other people. Why didn’t I graduate when she did? Why does she have a better job than I do? Why does she have a better car than I do? Why does it seem like she makes more than I do? Why is she doing better than I am? Do any of these questions ring a bell?
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Yes, social media is a great place to network, meet new people and keep up with old friends. However, social media can also be very dangerous in that you can often find yourself comparing yourself to other people and in turn, doubting your own progress, worth, and accomplishments. That’s when social media can become unhealthy. Comparing yourself to other people starts in your mind. If I find myself in a place where I am doubting myself because I am comparing myself to someone else and what they have, I try to remember three things: Everyone’s journey is different, I don’t know what they went through to get to where they are, and comparison is the thief of joy.
One huge thing that helps me when I get into the space where I am comparing myself to other people on social media is reminding myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. My purpose is different from everyone else’s which means that my journey and my progress are going to look different from everyone else’s. When I find myself asking questions like why does it seem that she is doing better than me, I just remind myself that her position isn’t better than mine, it’s just different than mine. Even if it is that her position is better than mine, that doesn’t mean that I am incapable or less than.
Another constant reminder that I try to think about is that I don’t know what people have gone through to get to where they are. People don’t post their failures on social media. I don’t know how people grew up, I don’t know what they struggled with, and I don’t know what they had to go through to get to where they are. My mom used to always tell me, “If you were to throw your problems in a pile with other people’s, I promise you would snatch yours right back.” In other words, I should be more grateful of the position I am in and how I got here, because some people may have had it worse than I did to get to where they are. I am a strong believer that if I knew what other people went through to get to where they are, I would be much grateful for what I have and where I am.
Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to other people will have you feeling discouraged, defeated, and questioning your worth, and none of those are good feelings. Learn to trust and cherish your process and your progress. Learn to accept and appreciate that your process looks different that everyone else’s. Instead of comparing yourself to other people, learn to reflect on how far you’ve come and celebrate all that you’ve accomplished. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.